That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I have the money I owe you for auctioning off your black thongs. Best 30 bucks ever spent
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
im not trying to sound dramatic, but im covered in microwavable lasagna
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Listen gotta draw the line somewhere. Apparently that line is at my nuts.
Randomize
