Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
DISHONOR ON YOU. DISHONOR ON YO FAMILY. DISHONOR ON YO COW
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
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