I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
The only thing he got me during our relationship was a cum stain in my backseat. I choose winners.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
You convinced us both to take shots of jack Daniels through our eyes.
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Now, one of you come feed me, the other read me my physics book...I'm too hungover for this shit...
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I'm so high. I'm going to need directions to get home.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
