My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
he was shitfaced drunk and couldn't walk but could still recite the top 10 in order from the first season of american idol. impressive
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
She roared AMY HORNEY and hulk hoganed her shirt off. Fuckin marriage time bro
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
Ate his Chinese food and drank his beer and played with his chihuahua. All while wrapped in a towel while he was sleep.
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