that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
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I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
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I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Also day 6: dick is healed and ready to go back to work.
Doing blow in the bathroom isnt the same without you
Do a rail off the baby station in my honor
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
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