Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
No... We were arguing over whose family is more dysfunctional... Then my brother stumbled in and puked all over jakes ugly dog.
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Thanks for having 911 ready when I jumped off the balcony
my liver gets a handicap on account of the whole being diseased thing
I forgot that I thought it would be a good idea to hairspray my toilet seat last night after I took 12 shots of vodka so when I just went to pee, I stuck to the toilet. Never drinking again.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ehhh, contemplating pain killers and fruit snacks if that's any indication.
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
It's like everybody loves Raymond but the total opposite and everyone wants him to die
He sent me a dick pic for every page I had to write for final papers (87) & brought me adderall. Tell me that isn't romance.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
just because i'm not a monk anymore doesn't mean I need to tell you about my new sex life.
which is fantastic by the way.
Randomize