and on the seventh day, God created megan fox
listening to techno makes your hand move faster while masterbating
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Just pooped at the strip club. NOT NORMAL . I may be a little too comfortable here.
She just looked down there and said "i breed horses. this is better than anything ive ever seen."
You just kept shouting "I AM AN ADULT!" until he agreed to carry you home on his shoulders.
That gas station is used for only two things, picking up moonshine and getting murdered. Only two outcomes.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
You don't know how emotionally damaged I am from crashing into that park maintenance van. I'll never ride a bike because of it.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
The struggles of a small town man whore
he's spending the night tonight. if i can walk straight tomorrow i'll be pissed.
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