Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Wait I'm all alone with a guy and his turtle
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
it's 1:30pm and i'm eating cheese while i sext. i need hobbies
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
Randomize
