its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
ummm i just drove by ur house and ur passed out on the porch. please call me when u get this
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
I'm on a treadmill at the gym ordering pizza on my phone so it'll get to my house around the time I get home. I NEED HELP. Or I'm a genius. I haven't decided.
50% drunk capacity currently
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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