Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I got into the shower with my underwear on. I just sat down in the tub and tried to figure out when I lost all control of this hangover.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
I don't want my vagina anymore.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Randomize
