you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
She just dipped a dollar bill in her queso dip and almost ate it before I slapped it out of her hand, no more bar crawls..
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I don't believe in coincidence. I believe in the stars aligning perfectly to sodomise me in public. Who ever said I was cynical?
You were a cyclone of alcohol and bad decisions - like a gay Tazmanian devil
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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