yep. he's not circumcised. how did it take me six months to realize THAT?
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
did i really just refer to you as "the mid season replacement"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
I met her dad while holding 4 empty beer bottles at the opera house. I think I made a hell of an impression.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
Its what happens when I drink whiskey in a sweater. It makes me feel mature and ponderful.
I just came so hard there were tears. Actual tears.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
It's getting to the point where my ability to get dick pix during the work day is impressing even me. Take that, adulthood!
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
Just convinced the cute guy from class that I have prostate cancer. GET ME OUT OF THIS TOWN!
Randomize
