I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
you lied. pity sex is amazing.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
while cleaning my room, i've found many wonderful things. one of these is the card you gave me for my eighteenth birthday. it's a christmas card that says "i want to stick it in your sponger"
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just found out that I slept with Kate Gosselin's publicist back in June . Brb I have to wash myself endlessly.
Had sex with the Irish bartender in Spain. So that happened.
It's pizza for people who hate themselves. I rang the place up once i'd finished and told them if i was on death row it would be my last meal because by the time i'd got half way through it I would be begging to die.
But then I ordered two more because it was 2-4-1 and my life is a mess
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
A stripper set a mans ass on fire... the club smelled like burning ass and boxers.
So...#1 on my TO DO list for college is to fuck someone somewhere in the stadium during the homecoming game...you down?
Randomize
