This dress was meant to end up on your floor
SOME GIRL GOT MAGGOTS IN HER COOCH FROM EXPERIMENTING WITH MAYO!
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
she walked out and i tried to get her to come back but i couldn't remember her name so i just whistled... future reference: that doesn't work
There were 11 girls in that minivan and everyone was either puking, crying, or yelling "we're a total shit show"
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
Randomize
