Duck Duck Cougar?
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Do you know how hard it is to get cum out of a straw hat!?
Beer pong consisted of me throwing a ball at the wall and then falling over because moving my arm made me dizzy. I think our team lost.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Just came so hard my back cracked. Other women are totally missing out if they don't masturbate.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
