If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I have decided today is drunk costume day. That is, i woke up still drunk and found costumes all over my floor. Heck yes. This is happening. Come over. Drink.
Walked in on my boss having phone sex at work... and somehow this didnt bother nor embaress him
New level of high: If I could bathe in my salsa right now I would.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
No celebraish? But today's the day that Jesus, Bruce Springsteen, and a flock of bald eagles came down from the heavens in fighter jets with electric guitars and M-16s a blazon, saying "Hey America, fuck the Red Coats, it's time to party"
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
Dude, if that was the MLB player I think it was leaving your bedroom this morning please tell me you got his autograph. It could pay the rent for like six months.
Dick very happy bro
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
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