Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The plants looked thirsty. Growing plants need mimosas too.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
Well that's what you get for messing around with her vagina. I told you it was a fickle and insatiable creature.
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So you were shitfaced and stole a fucking kayak?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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