God gave me these boobs for a reason other than for people to throw things down them.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
After she asked if she could try to fit her toe ring around it, i decided to leave. Thats the life i live
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Did I run into a tree or get punched in the face?
Both.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Randomize
