i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
I think its a sure sign I need to get laid when every cloud in the sky looks like a penis.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I wish my dick could take responsibilities for his own actions
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
Apparently I'm at the point in my life where I can wake up with a dick in my face and then go back to sleep
We bonded over the fact that we each, separately, got arrested on the same weekend.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
Randomize
