Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
she found me naked passed out on the toilet and i just kept repeating "i'm like elvis, but not dead."
I woke up and someone had put toast at my feet. I was SO. HAPPY.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
The gay is strong with you! You're more concerned about my outfit than my safety.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Don't judge me like that. At least the house is getting cleaned. If I have to drink and listen to Disney music on repeat for that to happen, so be it.
They're giving you narcotics aren't they?
If I offered to share would you come visit me?
Randomize
