I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Yo dude either Brian has herpes or he was jerking off to Web MD 'cause I just walked in on him
Also, the zoloft kicked in and I can't get an erection anymore. So I'm depressed.
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
i liked you for your lack of ambition and abundance of weed
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I got there and she was on her balcony drinking out of a bottle of vodka and smoking a cigar.
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