she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
I bet when she looks at herself in the mirror she wishes brown paper bags were in fashion.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
So I think before Superbowl weekend begins we should all take a look back on last year and learn from our pitfalls... AKA no touchdown shots and kitchen crying.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
Whatever, ill dance on the bar at applebees, don't try and act like you're above it.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
