I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
You'd think me telling him that I'm a lesbian would make him realize that I don't want to hook up with him.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
It was an "I snuck in through the window at 5am with my underwear in my pocket" kind of night.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
His dick is a skeleton key. It fits everywhere.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
Randomize
