did I really admit that id have sex with that cougar had I been more drunk?...ugh...i need to masterbate more
dude, the building's fire alarm was going off for over an hour last night and you didn't move
that's ok, when I'm passed out drunk I'm impervious to flame
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
dude, showing up drunk to physics was the best idea ever. I just tripled my participation for the semester. I love st pattys day
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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