Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
And the best part is I don't remember putting the condom in my pocket! Angels officially exist
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
We broke into her grandpa's pool at 2 am and I held my underwear out the window on the way home.
seriously, who doesn't want to get shitfaced and have sex to the backstreet boys?
turns out it took a Belgian couchsurfer dressed as Heisenberg to rock my world.
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
He asked the waiter, at 6:40 am, drunk, if they served alcohol. After he said no, he's like 'well, I guess we can eat then.'
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
