I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
this is the last time we take the mathletes drinking.
So how does it feel getting boo'd by the entire 5 guys restaurant
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
There's always one sober annoying person at a party. I hate responsible people. I just wanted to show everyone my nipples. There cute. She didn't have to stop me
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
That song just makes me wanna take off my top and shake my titties all around the club.
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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