I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
No one will ever love me with the amount of puke on my hand
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
I told him I tried to eat a stranger's sandwich while I was drunk. Mildly disappointed but he realizes he has me for a kid.
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
i just woke up from a 4 hour nap, still drunk, to make mac n cheese.
Randomize
