So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
I still don't understand how I went from crying to blowing you in like two minutes.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
You know it was a good night when visa fraud prevention services are calling
I accidentally just texted my dad asking if he wants to do shrooms with me. Do I leave the city now or...
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
