why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
I never realized how weird our shower smells until I cracked a shower beer and had a familiar aroma to compare it to.
Giiirrrllll. Back to back snaps of dicks. Two different guys sent me their dick at the same time. This is totally what our founding fathers meant with life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Randomize
