So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
Come scavenge bits of tuna out of my chest hair
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Am I allowed to be in denial about being gay again? Or is that one of those things you can't do?
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Randomize
