Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
I like how he had to correct himself in stating that I was the fat one in the threesome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
woke up this morning to a baggy full of adderall and two redbulls..i'm gonna marry this guy one day
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