Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
I'm drugging my best friend. I'm like a whole new level of bitch.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
i swear, you were born with a blunt in one hand and somebody else's wallet in the other.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He suffocated between her tits, but she didn't notice because he still came.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
So my plane's delayed and some guy is talking to "sparkles" he just told her to never again sell drinks from her cleavage. This is why I don't go home
you walked into the party, and all you had on was your left sock... literally.
I'm declaring this weekend Captain Morgan weekend
You declare every weekend Captain Morgan weekend...
You just don't understand... :'(
Omg. I'm living macklemores best life. I have someone's granddads dog, I'm about to have someone's grandmas car. I look incredible.
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