i mean i cnt help that this campus has the highest STI rate
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
It wasn't long before I skipped the martini glass and went straight to drinking from the shaker.
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
I will never try to masturbate with americas funniest home videos playing in the background ever again
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
It was weird. Like "Mom, Dad, here's a guy who knows my orgasm face".
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Randomize
