Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
Just got roadhead while going 95. I came for a mile and a half.
best line ever after sex today..."wow, that was a porn-star sized load"
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
He tied my whole arm, in its cast, to the headboard first. He mumbled something about safe, sane, and consensual?
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
She had cheddar bay biscuits in her purse. Biscuits, Id and cash. I'm gonna marry her.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Yes but I said "let's get a dog" not a drunk human so some rules will be established this evening
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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