Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
When you want to head down the cleveland on Sunday?
What time do the bars open? I dont want to remember how bad theyre gonna lose
just woke up in my neighbors garage.
scratch that. I'm like 6 miles from my house in a random garage.
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
pretty sure i saw you masturbating on chatroulette a minute ago. yes, i can recognize your cock
I THOUGHT I SAW YOU
It probably isn't a good idea to go home with last night's hookup's brother. And sister.
Probably is probably an understatement.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
