His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
we're about an hour out, how's the weather?
cloudy with a chance of strippers and cocaine, you're favorite. welcome home.
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
Threw up on the baby. National Tequila Day is the eve of National I'm A Horrible Nanny Day.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
VAL. THIS MOTHERFUCKER IS LAYING IN MY BED WEARING A CAT SHIRT, VAL. COME SAVE ME, VAL.
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
