I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
something about eating while taking a crap just doesn't seem safe to me.
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Yeah, I just met her and we got arrested together. I think it was a good bonding experience.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
I'm nothing if not determined to sleep with everyone at that company
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
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