dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
He ate me out and then left in a hurry and shouted "Sorry to dine and dash" as he left my house
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
Just watched porn on a 60 inch plasma screen TV... So that's where the clitoris is
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
