you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Sandwiches are there for you when porn isn't.
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
there's a barbecue in the shower. I'd like to know who got this to fit inside perfectly. impressive
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
He told me he was my brother roommate in college after we fucked, but already knew that so I had pretend I didn't know that.. like how I pretended I finished. 2/10
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