just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
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she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
just fucked two guys in less than 12 hours. i miss this part of being single.
and by single i mean slutty
I gave her at least chlamydia. Maybe worse. She is also into chicks and loves taking naked pics. It's like the less I believe in Jesus, the more he rewards me.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
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I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I'm hiding in my office refusing to turn the light on holding puke down stealing and shoveling down the meeting snacks and regretting my poor life choices. goldfish crackers are like crack to me right now. how is your day?
is it fun? or sober?
you missed a good time last night.
you texted me at 10 telling me to come fuck you, that says enough.
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