when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
Yes. Hungover. All the boys are going wakeboarding. Boys only. I wish I was a gay guy so I could go wakeboarding but still suck dick.
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
i love him because he let me keep my UGGS on while we had sex
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I woke up to my bra draped over his lamp and a huge bump on my head. apparently, I face planted while having sex in the shower..
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
