They threw me out of the bar because I was arguing business ethics with the owner of th bar
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Hate sex is good. Drunk sex is better. Combine those two however and you get the best experience of your LIFE.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I have a bunch of bug bites on my ass... This is why you don't have sex against a tree in the woods
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Umm... When he walked in I shot him with my confetti gun... It's a wonder my booty calls even show up.
She dated an Australian guy or some dude with an accent. Normal guys don't stand a chance.
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
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