So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
please come you make the beer taste better
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Tell your boss that he's keeping you from eating a fuck sundae off of these 36-24-36 34 D's waiting for you at home on Valentine's Day.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
Bright side: maybe hell start being nice to you now that you know he has erectile dysfunction.
I just gagged from thinking about the amount of tequila we will be drinking. DRUNK TUESDAYS
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
Where are you in relation to the mariatchi band?
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
hey can you come unlock the basement door? I'm trapped in here.
no I can't, you're a safety hazard. but, there's a beer keg down there somewhere. we don't have cups, but help yourself.
Randomize
