she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
You showed the cops outside of the bar your boobs and then decided to go apologize to them. They admitted that the reason they hung out there was because of girls like you.
For some reason i am carrying prostate cancer brochures. i am nor used to drinking this early.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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