You're completely useless in the revolution.
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Vodka Vensday. With a Russian accent... It counts.
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
