So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Or maybe I'll just keep introducing myself like, hello, they call me iane because I need the D. Applications are submitted online, women need not apply.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
falling asleep on a hardwood floor changes a person
Still drunk. lying on the floor just rubbing my cats nipples
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
We got stoned and watched Disney movies all night. I think I'm in love.
Randomize
