Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
you told grandpa to call you daddy
the head trauma was worth the blowjob.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
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