I'm going to use my one free fuck up card tonight.
What'd you do?
Its more like what im about to do.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
He told everyone he was going inside...an hour later we get a knock on the garage door from some dude telling us a guy is passed out on the lawn and we should get him inside because it's about to rain
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Is it just me or is it like a girl gets married and all of a sudden she’s a “blogger”?
Randomize
