I think we should boobie trap our beer this time using duct tape, rubber bands, seran wrap, and urine. Trust me I have a plan and it will work.
What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there may or may not be knives in your bed. I would check
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
Bro that's the last time I try to stick my penis in a bowl of jello. I can't believe your sister ate that, did she not see my dick mold
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
feeding cats lunchmeat on my kitchen floor. come pour me another shot.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Is there a number of dicks a girl can have in a weekend before it becomes unacceptable? Asking for a friend
Remember! It’sa long weekend and a holiday weekend and it’s America’s birthday! So don’t short change me!
I thought you were asking for a friend
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