Guess what? I had way too much to drink today. I'm properly wasted. Doing chores and playing video games while drunk. It's the nexus of stupidity and responsibility.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
His best friend's cat died so we had a drunken burial ceremony on the side of his condo at 2am and I'm pretty sure if anyone gets ahold of the video feed from Martini Monday we're all fired.
In a strange taxi 3059. Battery dying I'm dying. Bye.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Your friends are scaring the cats so I'm going to smoke weed with them to call them down.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
