1:32a: I quit. signing up for eharmony. Don't judge
im going to pretend im pregnant so i can eat a lot then i will accidentally fall down the stairs
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
So the name of the kid from the sponsor a child comercial popped into my head while I was masturbating this morning. Needless to say I will now be now be donating out of guilt.
I have to stop letting him stay all weekend. I feel like a cored apple.
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
I just want to be like "i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it"
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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