gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
Apparently we had sex last night, and then I made him drive me to the beach so I could puke in the ocean.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Found your bra
Where?
Hanging in the tree
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
hypothetically, what's the best method to remove an stray semen gob from a roommate's important school document?
Randomize
