glad my latex allergy prevents me from being a one-night stand whore
i barfeds in our rink
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
There are flour footprints all over the house. Either u guys are trying to pull that Paranormal Activity shit on me again, or u got drunk and tried to make pancakes.
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME! I SAID I WANTED SOMEONE CLASSY AND INSTEAD YOU SET ME UP WITH A GUY THAT JUST TOLD ME HIS FAVORITE PLACE TO FUCK IS ON HIS SWAMPBOAT “THE SLAMHOG!”
I DON’T WANT TO FUCK IN A SWAMP
First of all, his AIR boat is named “Slam Hog” not “The Slamhog.” Second, it’s top of the line. Third, don’t dismiss swamp sex before you try it!
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