return my video game
The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
Shitting during a conference call is so empowering.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
all i know is that they all tuched my pee cup last night.
I just febrezed the jizz on my pants and wore them again, gross or eco-friendly?
Eco-friendly.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
Are you still free tonight?
Oh shit I kinda forgot and took acid
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
Randomize
