walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
Is it appropriate to put "Mommy and Daddys shitfaced-ness that led to Aubrey" on a birth announcement?
Well you two just had a kid in the middle of college, I dont think anyone will notice.
Thanks bro
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
You made me pull over because you thought a leaf was a twenty rolling across the road.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
He sent me a snap with the dog tongue filter. I might have to bench him.
Randomize
