3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
He just sent me a winky face in the middle of setting up a drug deal. You don't do that.
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The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
Now that I'm single, I like to think of myself as in a relationship with Taco Bell.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
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I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
That moment when you're in a room with 3 guys and know how big their dicks are. Then you are married to the one with the smallest dick.
I'm trying to imagine how upset he was when he realized that he had been cockblocked by a picture of a sloth and I am drawing indescribable pleasure from it.
thanks for letting me have sex in your bed, too bad you didn't get to yet
who are you?
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