no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
You covered in salsa con queso would take care of all of my cravings right now
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Well it's official, last night I hooked up with the third girl from the apartment downstairs.
Dude that's a hat trick!
I know, I tossed my hat on the floor as I was walking out.
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
SHUN THE NONBELIEVERS. THUS SAYS THE NIPPLE LORD
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
Randomize
