I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I think when your throwing up on the highway on the way to pick up your mom from the airport is a sign to slow down.
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Lunch date was a success. And you'll be proud- my legs stayed closed.
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