i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
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Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
He asked me if we could throw a lingerie party together so I guess he's single again
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
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This morning he fucked me while I was brushing my teeth. So I kept brushing as he thrusted. Then I brushed his teeth with my toothbrush while he was still in me. So hygienic.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
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