508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
you know it's time to start studying when you've procrastinated to the point where you're reading your roommate's ex-boyfriend's wall posts from 2006.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
Never have i felt more judged than when i was throwing up in front of a hello kitty shower curtain at 5 in the morn
That's what jaeger bombs out of teacups will do to you.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
That is our entire relationship. We match bowls and give each other head. What more could you possibly want?
We saw the mini basketball hoop and unicycle and just knew we had to create a new sport
Drunk minds think alike
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