I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
quitting drinking is the number 5 new years resolution but number 4 is enjoying life more which one do you think im going to pick
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
I think he bit my vagina. Who does that?
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
