Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
you knoww youre high when you are just as concerned as the contestants on ultimate cake off as they move their 250 lbs cake over the ramp
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
yea, the bartender wouldn't serve you because you kept asking for "a slice of beer"
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
i had fun fun last night, with the exception of you running over my foot with your car. makes a great story for my first one night stand.
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
