Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I can't wait to get all this Makers out of my shoe.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
I would makeout with my roommate, but im not drunk enough and she doesnt like bacon fat
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
You better be Eskimo Brother-ing the FUCK out of tonight right now. Long distance 'balls deep' high five
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
You'd think it'd be fun living next door to a guy whose neck you once licked. Surprise, it's not.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
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