he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
I just got stoned alone and repierced my nose. don't ever tell me I'm unaccomplished
I just got stoned by myself and am eating cookies so I'm right there with you
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
I stole us four large rolls of toilet paper from the hotel carts. I feel like the breadwinner in this relationship
I didn't have cash to pay cover at the bar, so I traded the bouncer a Krispy Kreme doughnut i had in my purse
Your ex roommate is making out w the kid who pees on floors and it's kinda funny
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
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